Me Against Reality Shows

Hitting below the belt is what a Dutch TV contest did. A dying woman named Lisa had to choose between three people vying for an organ. She had to decide who of three patients will receive her kidney. Lisa based her choice on contestants history and profile. TV-viewers had to help make up her mind via SMS-voting. All this live in The Big Donor Show.

When the idea leaked into mass media, people were shocked. The producer said that the show chaises one important goal – to solve the problem of shortage of Dutch donors, and nothing commercial. This divided people into those who supported and opposed the idea. Dutch politicians even proposed to prohibit it but by doing so they were sort of ignoring the freedom of speech and other human rights.

Basically, the concept for me looked like this: a woman will have to reject two contestants and sentence them to death in favor of the third one. Oh, I forgot – all this with the help of SMS-voting. Nothing commercial? I doubt it.

But the reality turned out to be even more pathetic. The show did air on Friday evening. But the whole thing turned out to be a big mystification. The so-called donor was an actress who was not dying and, moreover, was not going to choose between three patients. These, in their turn, were absolutely real and in need of a kidney transplant. Do I need this kind of reality to turn towards people in need? Definitely, no. There are tons of effective ways to make a problem look important. It doesn’t have to be a commercial circus with actors and dying contestants. But The Big Donor Show definitely demonstrates the sick reality we create to live in.

Three Things I Like About Religion

1. Architecture. There is nothing as monumental symbolic as religious buildings. Time will fly by but these will survive. I truly enjoy all of them from gothic Notre-Dame to a Buddhist temple. I think that there is a great deal of creativity in all of them, opposing to today’s skyscrapers.
2. Popemobile. This is as sweet as little pink furniture designed specially for Barbie dolls. Not trying to make any personal parallels between Barbies and Popes here.
3. Concept. I truly admire the entire concept of all world religions. It takes a great deal of devotion to make up and support the whole idea throughout centuries. The funny thing is that if pageants were hasty enough to copyright their rituals, Christianity would’ve failed. But since it altered and continued the concept of the ancient world, it didn’t bring too many changes into the ideology and, therefore, didn’t break the understanding. And don’t mind people like me digging into history as long as these guys in churches help people to strongly believe into something pure.

It's a Small World

The world seems so much bigger in childhood. Memory changes impressions. When I was a kid I used to go to California to visit my grandma. I remember how at the age of four I was sitting under the table and trying to read my first book. The table was huge. It looked like a gigantic butterfly to me because both of its sides could be folded and the table took a shape of the drawer. When one side was lifted up (which was usually the way), the table looked like a hut where I usually preferred to hide. It was dark, safe and comfy.

Years passed. Just the other day I visited grandma again and suddenly remembered about that table. I asked her where it is now. She smiled and showed me a small something that looked more like a bedside-table. I thought she was mistaken, but after I took a closer look I realized that it was actually me who was confused. My big shelter turned out to be a small table. Why does the world seem so much smaller now?

Braces – Unforgettable Experience

The first and only embarrassing experience with boys happened on the day I got braces:-) I usually don’t scare guys away and never feel the lack of interest. I’m normal. Sometimes it works out, sometimes doesn’t. But that day will stay in my mind, it’s for sure.

I succeeded in persuading parents that braces are just what I need. They fought the idea courageously for about three years, but finally gave up. There weird things were placed onto my teeth, and I felt quite satisfied. That very day I went to the movies with my friends. And, just the way it usually works, there was a cute guy buying popcorn and smiling at me (he managed to do both things at the same time). Without a second thought I gave him a smile, too.

P. S. Only later I realized why he hurried to pay for popcorn and walk away. But it never gave me a reason to hide the smile:-)

Terrorism

“In a cause of explosion in a mall 168 people died. The man who committed this crime was sentenced to death on electric chair. Relatives of the victims demanded the government to permit to broadcast his kazn nationwide on TV….”

Flashback…

Year 2001… the twin towers are drowning in clouds of dust, chunks of the building, screams and fears…. Television restlessly repeats the pictures of the World Trade Center falling down – over and over again, tattooing the picture into the brains of shocked and speechless viewers for forever.

Year 2003… People with blood on their faces and their legs and arms injured, soldiers raping men in Iraqi prisons, and bombs blasting more often then the heart makes its normal amount of beats per minute – and the society, with its breath held, glues to the screens of TVs. The more, the bloodier – the better.

Year 2004… Mass media truly enjoys the information about tragedy in Beslan, Northern Osetia, and cuts it into pieces to feed the chunks of the bloody pie about victims, terrorists and grieving relatives to the TV viewers.

Wouldn’t you say you are a child of a modern world? I would. I don’t react on catastrophes, terrorism attacks and death any more. I don’t care who died yesterday, who dies right now, and who is sentenced to die tomorrow. I’ve had enough of this information. TV news did their job well and fed me up with their reports.

People die every day… so what? Does it really matter, how they do it? New people will be born to replace old ones. Especially conservative citizens will still visit the cemetery, cry over stones… I’m not cynical. I’m just the daughter of my epoch. I was raised like this, so what did you expect to see?

If I were different, I don’t think I would’ve been able to handle the situation. What kind of a normal person could do it? All we are able to do is keep on saying: “Oh, man… did you hear how many people died in tsunami? Horrible, unbelievable…. How many, once again?” I’m sick of it.

And they call it information? Then I don’t have anything to say against showing the death of the crazy lunatic dude on TV worldwide. Why not? I’d even place some comments. After all, we see the same stuff on TV, hear on the radio and read in newspapers everyday. We eat it with an appetite of hungry African children.

If we place this explosion in a mall on the timeline of catastrophes that happened over the past two years, it will just be lost. 168 dead bodies – so what? Twice as many die in Middle East every day, but people still manage to survive.

The funny thing is – movies about sex and violence are R-rated, but as to the death broadcast – you are free to watch. Like a lesson that needs to be learned: if you do something bad, you will be severely punished. If we choose this way of living, let’s follow it till the very end. Either truth, or lie all the time. Everything has to be natural.

It’s just that I’m not interested any more. I’ve got classes, job, Mom, grandma and tropical fishes to take care of. I want to live. And I will until I die. Maybe, these crazy folks on TV will even show how I get cremated. By that time absolutely everyone will get used to death, which is important. You have to feel it near without the feeling of fear. And still be able to live.

Introduction

As it turned out, to begin is the easiest thing. I have already done it. To continue the thought is a much harder task. What can one expect of a 21-year old girl from Nevada that studies journalism? Dirty stories about personal life? Romantic lies about first kisses, dates and sex? Or, maybe, sweet childhood memories?

So I sat down and thought… about things that happen during the day and usually don’t make a big impact on life, but leave a slight scent – positive, or negative. And I thought – hey, maybe these things matter? Happy moments that are not always perfect – they can be funny, weird, sweet, romantic, but all together positive. Memories and impressions are sometimes similar, and maybe any of you can find something familiar and leave a feedback.

Style matters to me. I take it seriously. I mean, I can wake up, open the drawer and look through it pensively. Then I take out a purple shirt and iron it as thoughtfully, as I looked at it. But twenty minutes before I have to leave I suddenly realize that this purple shirt just doesn’t suit my plans for a day. So I have to change outfit in a hurry, and if I have purple makeup on, that’s it – the whole thing has to be redone.

I wear tennis shoes. All the time. In summer I wear flip-flops. Or tennis shoes. I love comfort and don’t have time to draw eights with my hips because I’m always in a hurry. But, attention, there are at least sever boxes of drop-dead high heels in my closet! Barbarella red ones with cute bows, black 60es styled ones, silver-colored shoes with slim straps…. Why? Because I am an aesthete. I know that a neat shoe makes a girl’s leg look beautiful. Probably this is the reason why I spend hours wandering around stores and looking for nice shoes with a patience of a maniac. And then, during long winter evenings I sit in front of my closet and cradle the shoes with my eyes. One day I will wear any of them with one of my evening gowns.

Evening gowns! One more thing on the list of my weird peculiarities. I wear jeans. In summer I trade them… for new light jeans. Nevertheless, my closet is stuffed with lovely skirts and dresses. I have three evening gowns! They are incredibly beautiful.

Once I wore a pink dress with one of those pairs of red barbarella-bow-looking shoes to a party, which is not something I do on the ordinary basis. I made an effect of a blasting bomb on everyone, and my friends never got tired of asking me to do it once more. I was quite satisfied with my victory and returned everything back on the shelves. Now I’m thinking over a new blast.

At home I’m not demanding at all. A have only two pairs of pants that I wear with T-shirts. But I absolutely HATE slippers! I resent them with my soul. And even when it is cold, I fight against them with anger of a hungry tiger. I just can’t imagine how I put my legs into something cold, slippery from constant wear, and bad-smelling…. Eww-w-w! I’ve got a pair of blue fuzzy socks that I can wash once they get dirty. Isn’t it a reason heavy enough to be happy?

I don’t understand people who prefer to wash hair once in four days, wear T-shirts and socks that they put on yesterday…. Yeah, I’m kinda concerned about personal hygiene.

I also hate to paint my nails. At school they were of all the colors of the rainbow. They even were bloody-red (imagine it on child’s little fingers and you will get the idea). And I resent perfume! Probably, the reason for this is my severe allergy on even a slight scent. It can guide me into absolute chaos! All I’m able to do at such moments is try to get over a nasty feeling that steps onto my throat… you know.

My mood depends on the way I look. Any girl will understand me here. When I look good, nothing can stop me. But if something (especially hair) isn’t all right, I’d better stay at home. And since the last option is never available, at bad days I feel… bad.

Though I’m free from obligations in style. I love experiments. Two years ago I enjoyed wearing a dress over jeans. Girls gossiped behind my back, but I never cared about them. Then I got lovely ribbons into my hair, belt and even shoelaces. Later everything was replaced by a blue feather weaved into my hair.

I love when clothes “play”. I mean, you never know what a simple shirt is worth until you put it into an untypical context. The main criterion for me is that THIS has to look good, not pathetic or sad. I have to enjoy it. Just like I enjoy tiny pieces of life that turn into happy moments.